Na pol poti.

Sem na pol poti.

Na polovici mojega življenja v Innsbrucku.

Na polovici mojega projekta.

Na pol poti s prostovoljstvom.

To je nenavaden obstoj, priznam.

Najboljši del je spoznavanje novih, nadvse zanimivih ljudi.

Najhuje je, ko me vprašajo, kaj delam tam.

"Torej, ali delaš tukaj?"

»No … Nekako. Sem prostovoljka.”

Počasno prikimavanje, ko prečesavajo vsak pomen te besede, ki so jo slišali, in se sprašujejo, kako lahko kdo živi od tega.

Univerzalni "Oh", ki ga izpustite, ko nekdo odgovori na vaše vprašanje, vendar ne veste popolnoma nič več kot prej, ko ste ga zastavili.

Ko sem prvič prišla, sem se morala prijaviti na občini in tam zaposlena gospa ni vedela, kaj bi z menoj.

Imela je dva obrazca, študentskega in za zaposlene.

Jaz nisem ne eno ne drugo.

Mislim, da si je kar na kraju samem izmislila postopek, še vedno nisem 100% prepričana, če sem registrirana.

Približno en mesec, preden sem odšla, da bi začela s svojim prostovoljnim projektom, sem se z nekdanjim prostovoljcem pogovarjala o tem, kaj lahko pričakujem.

Rekel je, nikoli ne bom imela več svobode, kot jo bom imela kot prostovoljka.

Nisem čisto razumela, kaj je mislil.

Zdaj vem.

Kot študent ali kot zaposleni nimaš … drugega kot obveznosti.

Neizbirne obveznosti.

Da, pričakuje se, da bom delala za svojo organizacijo, od mene se pričakuje, da se aktivno vključim vanjo. Želi se, da bi HOTELA posvetiti svoj čas izboljšanju le-te in jo zapustiti boljšo, kot je bila, ko sem prišla.

Velika pričakovanja, priznam.

Toda prav tako je projekt ... zame.

Da bi našla … no, da bi se našla, predvidevam.

Zame, da najdem in raziskujem svoje strasti, da se naučim novih veščin, novih besed in novih zgodb.

Da se naučim o sebi.

Idealna različica je mišljena takole.

Motivirana mlada oseba se preseli iz druge države, da bi za 11 mesecev delala v navdihujoči organizaciji, po tem času pa sta tako oseba kot organizacija boljši, saj sta drug drugemu dala najboljše, kar lahko ponudita, in se izboljšala na tak ali drugačen način.

Če vzamem ohlapno interpretacijo mladega in motiviranega ter zanemarim dejstvo, da sem se preselila dobesedno čez mejo (v bistvu sem samo zdrsnila en sedež proč), lahko po 6. mesecih rečem, da ... gre dobro.

Organizacija, za katero delam, je čudovito čudna in močno upam, da ni edinstvena, saj si vsako mesto zasluži takšno ustanovo.

Imenuje se Die Bäckerei in čeprav občasno tam še vedno izdelujejo slastne dobrote, žal moram poročati, da to ni prava pekarna.

Težko je razložiti v stavku.

Sami sebi pravijo Kulturbackstube. Ne prosite me za prevod, ker be bi mogla … nikakor.

Je kulturni prostor s toliko dejavnostmi, poslanstvi in definicijami, kolikor ljudi ga uporablja.

Ves čas se spreminja.

Ponuja skoraj vse, kar išče tisti, ki ga uporablja.

Hiša je prizorišče dogodkov, co-working prostor, aktiven udeleženec v neštetih mednarodnih projektih, galerija, kolesarska delavnica, zero-waste kuhinja, urbani vrt na strehi, umetniški atelje ... talilni lonec različnih obrti in zanimivih idej. Svetleč žarek kulture v mestu, kjer je top pet najljubših prostočasnih aktivnosti športnih.

Ne mislim ga postavljati na piedestal.

To je človeška organizacija. Ljudje smo nepopolni in nepopolnost v Die Bäckerei to odseva v vsej svoji neurejeni slavi.

Tukaj sem šele 6 mesecev, ona in jaz sva še vedno v fazi medenih tednov.

Tukaj sem šele 6 mesecev, a ... dobila me je.

Ni težko.

Po celi življenjski dobi sistemov, pravil in omejitev, je tolikšna svoboda opojna.

"Kaj želiš delati? Ja, super, naredi to."

Opojno.

Ne morem govoriti o ostalih, ker je to edina organizacija, v kateri sem bila kot prostovoljka EuSC, toda to sem spoznala v 6 mesecih.

Sprejemanje prostovoljcev zahteva VELIKO dela.

Obvladovanje vse birokracije zahteva veliko truda.

Vložiti toliko časa v novo osebo, ji dati občutek, da je del ekipe, ji pomagati pri integraciji in razumeti, kako stvari delujejo, ji pomagati pri vodenju, organizaciji in ugotavljanju, kaj želi.

In po vsem tem delu se posloviti od njega, sprejeti novega in narediti vse znova.

Kaj so torej prednosti? Zakaj to počnejo?

Del tega je delovna sila. Veliko je treba postoriti in dan ima le toliko ur, tako da če lahko prostovoljec prevzame nekaj od tega, je stvari nekoliko lažje obvladati.

Toda glavni del tega je ... kako naj razložim ...

Ker to želijo.

Ker želijo stalen pretok mednarodnih, drugačnih in zanimivih ljudi, ki prihajajo in izstopajo iz hiše. Vredno je truda imeti nekoga, ki na to gleda s svežimi očmi in pride z različnimi stvarmi, ki jih lahko ponudi in se jih nauči.

Hvala bogu.

Ves čas se spreminja. Tudi to se lahko spremeni.

Zaenkrat … sem hvaležna.

Še 5 mesecev.

Zadnji mesec sem bila s tem zelo zaposlena.

Tu imam samo še 5 mesecev.

Skrbelo me je, ali bom to kar najbolje izkoristila, kako bom dobila vse, kar lahko, in izkusila vse, kar je, v kratkem času, ki mi je še ostal.

Pravzaprav me to tako skrbi, da ne morem uživati.

Nič več.

Nehala bom šteti dneve.

Nehala se bati, ko gledam, kako minevajo minute in ure.

Samo … uživala bom.

To je največ svobode, kar je bom kdaj imela.

Torej ... kaj še želim narediti s tem?

*Slovenski prevod je nastal na podlagi originalnega zapisa Polone Ferjančič v angleščini, ki vas čaka pod tole fotografijo - uživajte v branju :)

A Few Months of Freedom

Half way.

I’m half-way done.

Halfway through my life in Innsbruck.

Halfway through my project.

Halfway done with volunteering.

It’s an odd existence, I grant you.

The best part is meeting new, supremely interesting people.

The worst part is when they ask me what I’m doing there.

“So, are you working here?”

“Well…. Sort of. I’m a volunteer.”

The slow nod as they filter through every meaning of that word they’ve every heard and wonder how anyone can live off that.

The universal “Oh” you let out when someone answers your question but you know absolutely nothing more than before you had asked it.

When I first arrived, I had to register at the municipality and the lady working there didn’t know what to do with me.

She had two forms, students and employees.

I was neither.

I think she just made up a process on the spot, I’m still not 100% sure if I’m registered.

About a month before I left to start my volunteering project, I talked with a former volunteer about what to expect.

He said, you’ll never have more freedom than as a volunteer.

I didn’t really understand what he meant.

I do now.

As a student or as an employee you have… nothing but obligations.

Non-optional obligations.

Yes, as a volunteer I am expected to work for my organisation, I am expected to take an active interest in it. The hope is that I’d WANT to devote my time to improving it and to leave it better than it was when I arrived.

High hopes, I warrant.

But equally the project is… for me.

For me to find… well to find myself, I suppose.

For me to find and explore my passions, to learn new skills, new words and new stories.

For me to learn about myself.

The ideal version is meant to go a little like this.

A motivated young person, moves from another country to work at an inspiring organisation for 11 months, after which both the person and the organisation are better off for them being there, having given each other the best they have to offer and improved one another in some way or another.

Taking a loose interpretation of young and motivated and ignoring the fact that I literally just moved one country over (I essentially just slid over a seat), 6 months in, I’d like to say… it’s going well.

The organisation I work for is wonderfully odd and I dearly hope not unique, every town deserves a place like this.

It’s called Die Bäckerei and while the occasional delicious baked good still gets made there, I am sad to report, it is not an actual bakery.

It is… difficult to explain in a sentence.

They call themselves a Kulturbackstube. Do not ask me to translate, I couldn’t possibly.

It is a cultural space with as many activities, missions and definitions as there are people using it.

It changes all the time.

It offers pretty much whatever whoever is using it is looking for.

The house is an events venue, a co-working space, an active player in countless international projects, a gallery, a bicycle workshop, a zero-waste kitchen, a rooftop urban garden, an artists studio…a melting pot of different crafts and interesting ideas. A shining beacon of culture in a city where the top five past-times are athletic.

I don’t mean to put it on a pedestal.

It’s a human organisation. Humans are imperfect and incomplete and Die Bäckerei reflects that in all its messy glory.

I’ve only been here 6 months, she and I are still in our honeymoon phase.

I’ve only been here 6 months but… she got me.

It’s not difficult.

After a lifetime of systems, rules and restrictions this much freedom is heady.

“What do you want to do? Yeah, great, go do it.”

Intoxicating.

I cannot speak for the rest, this is the only organisation I’ve every been an EuSC volunteer in, but here’s what I’ve found in my 6 months.

Taking in volunteers is A LOT of work.

Takes a lot effort to manage all the bureaucracy.

To invest so much time into a new person, to make them feel part of the team, to help them integrate and to understand how things work, to help them run, organise and figure out what they want.

And then after all that, to see them go, take in a new one and do it all over again.

So what are the pros? Why do they do it?

Part of it is the workforce. There’s a lot to be done and there’s only so many hours in a day so if a volunteer can take over a few of those, things are a bit easier to manage.

But a major part of it is… how can I explain…

Because they want this.

Because they want a constant flow of international, different and interesting people coming in and out of the house. Having someone look at it with fresh eyes and different things they can offer and learn is worth the effort.

Thank goodness.

It changes all the time. This might change too.

For now… I’m grateful.

5 more months.

This past month I have been very preoccupied with that.

I only have 5 months left here.

I have been worrying about making the most of it, about getting all I can and experiencing all there is in the short time I have left.

Worrying about it so much in fact, that it’s stopping me from enjoying it.

No more.

I’m going to stop counting days.

Stop dreading as I watch the minutes and hours tick by.

I’m going to just… enjoy it.

This is the most freedom I’ll ever have.

So… what else do I want to do with it?